Global Warming Reaches into Christmas
It was bound to happen. The political debates of global warming have reached Christmas.
But the attackers who swear your SUV is killing the planet are taking a fresh approach when it comes to Christmas. You’d think they’d be up in arms about the tons of wasted paper represented by Christmas wrap or perhaps we would be lectured about the true cost of burning multi-colored and musically timed Christmas lights. But no — they are hitting really below the belt with a cunning strategy that is undeniably flawless.
They want us to buy real Christmas trees.
Yes, that’s right. They want us to hunt down a beautful fir, chop it off at the roots and kill it slowly over a period of weeks before Christmas. Year after year after year they want us to do this — to save the planet, they claim.
Stunning, isn’t it?
How do the use of real trees help the fight against global warming? Simple math explains it first.
Artificial trees now outsell real trees by a 6-to-1 margin these days. Artificial trees are made of plastic and metal — the same stuff used to build SUVs, water bottles and other anti-earth products. You just can’t drag an artificial tree out to the curb when its usefulness has expired. It goes to landfills where it won’t degrade until well after the 2nd coming and that, as you know, is killing the earth. So, doing the math, if we buy more real trees again versus fake ones, we’re planet savers.
Of course, there are other environmentally sound reasons to buy real trees.
Their proper harvesting helps replenish leeched nutrients from precious soil. In fact, a real tree when properly recycled blesses the earth from which it sprang. So says a new coalition of, um, tree huggers, otherwise disguised as the Christmas tree growers of Oregon.
To them we say: Merry Christmas. After all, every one loves a real tree. Real trees smell better, look prettier and add life to a room in a way that no artificial tree can. But to them we also say: Bah humbug. Don’t kid a kidder, the saying goes. And don’t wrap your trees as environmentally friendly just to sell a few more trees. Real trees are great — but they do present some issues.
Let’s not forget the hassles of being environmentally responsible. Real trees die and in the process they shed. Real trees cause real fires. And sap from real trees can ruin just about anyone’s day.
The inconvenience of hauling a tree in the house, watering it, picking up after it as it slowly drops needles all season, and then cleaning up after the season is over hardly seems like a price to pay in order the save the planet, right?
Right. We all agree with that. After all, we were all environmentally friendly years ago when as kids real trees were all we had access to.
But there is one real issue the tree growers of Oregon and global warming advocates from all over have yet to address: money.
Yes, real trees cost real money. Lots of it. And that is something difficult for any real tree lover to fathom. Why does a real tree cost as much as a small car? That is what is driving sales of artificial trees. One can go to Target and get a tree in a box and re-use it for years for a fraction of the cost of having a real tree over that time.
Everyone wants a green planet. Heck, it is my stubborn belief that most folks would really prefer a real tree. We were good with it generations ago and we’d be fine with it for now. We just can’t afford it.
Real trees are something the Christmas-loving world would get behind in a heart beat — just as soon as Christmas tree growers get real themselves.
