The Things Kids Say to Santa

Over at Santa Update.com they have been tracking the adventures of Santa as he treks around the world since 1991. Unlike Norad or Santa tracking through the search engines — which do a great job showing where Santa is on a map — Santa Update gets the kids involved on Christmas.

They tell the stories of Santa’s Christmas flight from the perspective of the North Pole. And throughout kids can email Santa, write to an elf, help name Santa’s sleigh or even sign up to become one of Santa’s secret spies, who send in reports to the North Pole warning Santa of local dangers. And wouldn’t you know it? Kids say the darndest things — even when they know Santa is on the way.

Thanks to the good elves at Santa Update we can share with you these hilarious secret spy reports from tracking Santa for Christmas 2012, the first from Alvin in Sacramento, Calfornia:

Grumpy non-believer in nearby apartment. Very anti-Santa!

From Atlanta, Georgia came this chilling report to Santa’s Central Command on Christmas Eve:

There has been a report that some young adults are plotting to abduct Santa and his Reindeer. They are plotting to hold him for ransom. Please help!

The weather was a big concern all over the world. Evidently, it was raining in the UK when this report came in:

Basically, Rain Rain and more rain. Very slippery consider adapting the sledge to make it water proof

Jack, from Barrie, Ontario Canada, also had worries about the weather:

Big storm set to hit right on Christmas Eve. BE CAREFUL SANTA!

But more than anything else it was the attitudes of others around kids that worried them on Christmas Eve. Especially the non-believers and the naughty. Jana, writing from New York, reported:

There is a little boy here who is very naughty. I think you know him. His name is Christopher. He says you are fake. He says you can eat his boogers and that his brother will get him the Xbox he wants for Christmas. Give him coal, Santa. He is a bad kid. He is a WEIRDO who won’t leave me alone.”

We used to think Santa kept a naughty list. But it seems he has a lot of help out there from people who tell on the naughty:

Amanda was not listening to her parents and she yelled back at them. She is applying to be an elf don’t let her she is actually on the naughty list. Give her coal. She was to misbehaving. She did not complete her workbook. She did not listen about not eating too much candy. She left no cookies for Santa. This is trouble! IF she sends you a letter saying she is good don’t believe her.

Kale, who failed to mention his age or where he was from, seemed to speak in code to Santa:

Santa take warning for non-believers. Bad news is it would effect ur reindeer for spirit power. I sent a messege to Victor and other elves. Hopefully have a safe and carefull ride. See u in 15 christmas minutes and 98 minutes in light power

We’re pretty sure Santa know what Kale meant. For the thousands of reports that came in none touched us more than Robby, one of Santa’s biggest fans in Montana:

I’m ready for you, Santa. We have the back yard shoveled for landing. Mom says you cannot land on the roof this year as it is in pretty bad shape. Not to worry. I spent six hours getting the yard ready. You will see the landing zone marked with four bike flags, five flashlights and the camp lantern. Dad said I could use it until the batteries in it die. We have hay for the reindeer. Carrots too. The backdoor has been unlocked. If you need the key I put one under the front tire of the car. Dad doesn’t know. I will put it back tomorrow. The dog is inside. No worries, he won’t attack. He is a believer. I will be in bed at precisely 9:30. What else do you need, Santa?

From receiving the secret spy reports to naming Santa’s sleigh and baby reindeer it has been a great season of feedback from the lovers of Santa out there. SantaUpdate.com says that parents often write in to the North Pole, too. More on what they have to say in another post.