Why I’m Returning These Christmas Gifts

Men are not shoppers. Or so the gift buying world thinks. As a retail worker my entire career I have seen the inside thinking and can wholeheartedly agree that when it comes to shopping it is a woman’s world. Retailers love women. They build displays to catch the female eye, target marketing to appeal to women and practice service standards that women will like.

Maybe that is why I’m so ticked this Christmas season.

Isn’t my money as a man just as good as the money spent by a woman?

I don’t mean to go on a sexist rant. (Inevitably that is how some will take this). But I’m taking some of these Christmas gifts back this year and that is because retailers need to be paying more attention to me…just because I’m male.

I will begin by taking back the Lancome. Guys – that’s make-up. I will be the first to admit we are not the primary shopper when it comes to make-up. But I usually take inventory of my wife’s needs and purchase the staples in her Lancome goody bag around Christmas time. The stuff isn’t cheap but it makes a good gift that she appreciates.

You would think a guy with a list and a pocketful of money would get some attention at the make-up counter at the department store. No. I had to interrupt a vital conversation about a Twilight movie between two white-coat sales associates just to get someone to pay attention to me. When I finally did get served I was upsold on a product I didn’t want just because they were out of stock of what I came to buy.

Apparently she (the sales associate) thought she could use her professional training to judge my wife’s skin type and color without her actually being there. Perhaps she thought that being male I was just too stupid to buy it. I wasn’t.

A smart sales associate would call another store or find out where I could go. But I did not have a smart sales associate, I had the I’m-working-on-commission-loser-of-the-year who could only think of her needs, not mine. I bought the lipstick she had that I needed but I’m taking it back. Her service bothered me that much. I’m thinking I can find a more willing level of service in the dog days of January and I have the time now to go do it. If I get good service, guess what? I plan on buying a LOT more Lancome.

This is what happens when you tick off a male shopper. We get even. That is what I am doing to Apple.

Like the hoards of others out there I bought an iPad for myself. I’m a guy, we do that kind of thing at Christmas.

But when I opened up the box and turned it on the iPad appeared to already have been used. Indeed, I found on it a downloaded rap video that I did not appreciate. This came from an Apple store. Not Target or Walmart. I love Apple stuff but I detest Apple’s attitude. They are the big dog and they know it and they act like it. In my male mind they have to walk the talk. My iPad didn’t pass muster and come to think of it neither did the Apple store. I did not like the wait in line, I didn’t like the snippy clerk and I did not like the price. Time to take it back.

Same thing with the Costco movies I purchased. I hate Costco almost as much as going to the dentist. But I was dragged there one night by my wife, who just loves the place. (See a trend?).

On a whim I purchased one of those two-fer movie deals where you get two DVDs for a low price. I just saw the same movies on Amazon for half the price. Brand new. Delivered in two days right to my door.

I called Costco and asked them if they would adjust my price to what I found at Amazon. I was told “no”. I then asked what would happen if I brought the movies back. They said they would refund my money if I had my receipt. Of course I have my receipt. I have a wallet full of them. I’m a guy, we do that.

So back they go.

I love Christmas shopping in January. I love the feeling of power it gives me. I’m a guy. We’re like that.

1. Jeanette says:

   February 28, 2013 at 2:41 pm

   I had to pop in and read this when I saw your Tweet. Very funny.