Gifts for Mother-in-Laws

One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

Rudolf the Weatherman

A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf. He’s always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night,...

Santa’s Flight Exam

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order....

WeeWeeChu

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, and Huan Cho said, “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.” “Oh no, not now. Lets just look at the moon”, said Jung Lee. “Oh, c’mon...

What else?

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. “If you get a train,” I would tell each one, “you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?” The usual answer was a quick yes, but afer I asked one boy this question, he became very...

25 Christmas Ideas to Torture Your Roommate

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor. 2. Go to the mall with your roomate and sit on Santa’s lap. Refuse to get off. 3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you’re wearing it. 4. Sit in a...